First, the dream.
I was in an apartment with David and Cheshire. Not one we ever lived in. Julia may have been there too although she was not active in the dream. It was a small apartment -- there is actually a dream apartment that I sometimes dream about, this was not the one, but it bore some resemblances. (And now, I am remembering that I've had a lot of place dreams lately. I don't retain them in the morning, but hotel rooms, apartments, lofts, houses. I can remember many of them this minute. Place?).
In the dream, David was breaking up with me. He would not tell me why and Cheshire blamed me. I was pretty convinced that I was totally at fault, that I was a wicked and inadequate person. I had many of these dreams as a child and when I was very young I would ask my mother if I could come into bed with her. She was never in favor of that request.
Anyway, I was considering packing up but then I realized that everything in this small apartment was David's and I wondered what had happened to my stuff. It was a relative short dream and I woke up quickly with that awful unloved and uncared for feeling. When David was alive I would ask him to hold me and we would sleep like that for the rest of the night. When I woke up from this dream, I remembered that as somehow took great comfort from the idea. When the alarm went off, I woke up still with the feeling that David would have held me and made my heard feel whole again.
And so, Tracy, in a strange round about way, the dream did exactly as you wished. And this morning, I have a bit of peace.
